Are you a tired groundskeeper at Clearwater’s Bright House Field, the finest single-A ballpark Florida has to offer? Need some break-time furniture to rest your weary bones? Then plop down here on the sofa betwixt the oversized shovels and the 55-gallon trash receptacle. Sit back, sink in, and give in to relaxation at the Groundskeepers’ Lounge and Equipment Garage Bay. Let your ass sweat and back-of-the-knee dirt grime congeal with the ass sweat and back-of-the-knee dirt grime of fellow seedsmen. With amphibian stillness, settle in to the touch, the feel, and all the glutinous warm memories of groundskeepers’ past.
Thirsty? Need some coin for the vending machine? Just plunge those hands into the teeming goodness of the couch crevice! Oh, you never know what you’ll find down there! Be forewarned, though. The origins of the mysteries within, like the backwoods primordial swamp of a Primus-scored nightmare, are dark, plentiful, and best left uninvestigated.