The Tasing of a Fat Man

Polite society will not long abide the rowdy propositioning of a purposeful young man by a shiftless old tosspot, brain awash in the finest malted barley single-A baseball has to offer.  Polite society will, however, capture this moment on video and post it on YouTube for all the world to enjoy.  Like any proper Florida baseball game, the video below proceeds at a leisurely pace, is rife with catcalls and heckling, and culminates in the tasing of an unmanageable fat man.

The Daytona Cubs website offers this description of the setting:  “The Budweiser Bullpen is located down the right field line. It offers a unique view of the game.”  Yes, on this day it certainly did that.  Oh boy, it did a lot of that.

The Cubs website also details the alcohol policy: 

Fans must be 21 years of age with positive identification to purchase and consume alcoholic beverages. The Daytona Cubs reserve the right to suspend service at any time at the sole discretion of the Cubs management and reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

Apparently, Cubs management, in concert with the local constables, also reserves the right to suspend the proper functioning of your nervous system should you publicly and loudly offer a “bag of pennies” to see another man’s “heinie”.   Fair enough, I say.

Witness the long, coiled, crackling arm of the law:

 

If you’ve already wasted 9 minutes of your life watching the first video, what’s another minute and 20 seconds?

————————————

Advertisements

Baseballers brawl in Australia, Florida scarcely involved

The following points represent entirely reasonable justifications for posting to a site devoted to Florida baseball, video of a brawl which took place in the Australian Baseball League: The base runner rounding third base, Patrick Leonard, is currently a member of the Tampa Bay Rays organization.  He was acquired from the Royals as part of […]

Let’s Replace the Word Half-inning: An Update

Nearly two years ago now, the BBB proposed a new word to replace the awkward and awful sounding “half-inning” forevermore.   At every utterance, it is preceded by hesitation as the speaker searches in vain for a better word to describe either the top or bottom of an inning.  And so, as required by the […]

Ejection Video: Billy Gardner Jr., Montgomery Biscuits

Hello everyone!!!  Greetings from the American Workplace, where happiness is mandatory and important work gets done while everyone pretty much acts like an asshole.  Today we bring you the latest in Ejection Video, straight from the Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville.  The BBB staff of analysts, hangers on, groupies and what have you, requisitioned the company […]

Inflatamaniacs

  Attention reader:  Please power on your home all-in-one printer/copier/scanner.  Use the all-in-one printer/copier/scanner software to ensure your device’s color ink cartridge levels are sufficient.  With your feet shoulder width apart, bend at the knees and print this internet post containing the Inflatamaniacs character biographies shown below. Using a no. 2 pencil and your wooden […]

On-sale dates for 2014 spring training tickets

Happy New Year, everyone.  Now that last night’s distilled spirits have frightened away the sugarplum fairies in your head, it’s time to turn your attention to spring training.  Thanks to the good folks at SpringTrainingOnline.com and their informative email newsletter, we have below the on-sale dates for individual Grapefruit League spring training tickets.  The BBB […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: