Saddest Bear Ever

The Saddest Bear Ever

I am Saddest Bear Ever.  I shrink from the forefront like a violet undressed.  My countenance of woe and raised eyebrows question, “Does anyone love me?”  It’s hard to tell sometimes, you know?

You see, I’m not like the others.  Rocky the Bull, that majestic bovine stallion, blesses us with his broad shoulders, his proud snout and those beautiful horns of gold.  I don’t have those.  Phinley the Shark keeps the party rolling with shredded Bermudas and tons of pretty lady friends.  I don’t have those either.  Let’s not  forget the centerpiece of this handsome group, Aaron’s Rent-to-Own Furniture NASCAR Racing Dog, brandishing that champion’s charisma like a weapon aimed straight at my broken little heart.

Who am I kidding?  My glass and Chick-fil-A Cow’s will never mingle and clink tastefully at the after-party.  I will not know the dashing thrill of a Jet’s Pizza Man’s rocket ride.  No mascot groupies will share come-hither glances with a loser the likes of me.  Why am I even here?  I should leave.

I am Saddest Bear Ever.

May 12, 2012

Florida Auto Exchange Stadium

Dunedin, FL



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