Tino Martinez Joins Marlins Coaching Staff

Marc Topkin informs us that Tino Martinez will join the Miami Marlins as hitting coach for the 2013 season.  Mr. Martinez is probably most well-known for winning eleventy world championship rings while playing for the Yankees and also for standing in line in front of me once at the Channelside movie theater.  Yes, it was a special moment for both of us.

This is also an opportune time to mention that Mr. Martinez used to play for the University of Tampa, as evidenced here on the UT list of Spartans drafted into the majors.  And by the way, the UT baseball season begins in just 15 days.  UT schedule here.  The ballpark there at UT offers a pleasing vista of downtown Tampa, which you can enjoy while scarfing down freshly-grilled hotdogs and calling kinfolk up north to brag that you’re watching baseball on February 1st.

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The Giant Net of Spartan Baseball

The only conclusion to be drawn from the current netting solution erected around University of Tampa’s baseball field is that Paul Bunyan has signed a letter of intent to play for the Spartans.  Yes, it is true I suspect, the mythical lumberjack will retire his double blade axe and hobnail boots in favor of a baseball bat and cleats, thus necessitating the frighteningly large net beyond the outfield wall.  The stubbled and brawny masher may stand 63 ax handles high, but he pales in comparison to the giant enmeshment, whose very existence alters the migratory patterns of avian wildlife and can clearly be seen from outer space:

  google

Several questions abound:

  • Why is the foul pole so short if the net is so tall?SAM_0767 - Copy
  • We know Bunyan can fell the timber, but will he bring the lumber?
  • Considering the copious fecal output of Babe the Blue Ox, will the head groundskeeper ever need budget for fertilizer again?
  • Will the thunderous crack of Bunyan’s mighty club break dormitory windows, thereby frightening the genteel, and totally not slutty, coeds of Straz Hall?
  • Will the net be repurposed for missile defense?
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