On-sale dates for 2014 spring training tickets

Happy New Year, everyone.  Now that last night’s distilled spirits have frightened away the sugarplum fairies in your head, it’s time to turn your attention to spring training.  Thanks to the good folks at SpringTrainingOnline.com and their informative email newsletter, we have below the on-sale dates for individual Grapefruit League spring training tickets. 

The BBB made one update to the list, however.  The Pittsburgh Pirates offer an “Early Bird Presale Opportunity”, which simply means the tickets go on sale three days earlier, at an additional cost of five dollars.

Because the teams’ websites are remarkably inconsistent in terms of where to click to get spring training ticket information, the BBB did most of the heavy lifting for you.  So that you may more easily give your money away to athletic millionaires and the billionaires to whom they are beholden, each link below will take you to a page that reasonably approximates where you can purchase tickets.  Not every teams’ page provides the on-sale dates listed below, but we must assume SpringTrainingOnline.com has at its disposal secret connections providing that information.

Atlanta Braves: Now
Boston Red Sox: Now
Toronto Blue Jays: Wednesday, Jan. 8, 9 a.m.
Philadelphia Phillies: Thursday, January 9, 9 a.m.
New York Yankees: Friday, January 10, 10 a.m.
Detroit Tigers: Saturday, January 11, 10 a.m. ET
Miami Marlins: Saturday, January 11, 10 a.m. ET
Minnesota Twins: Saturday, January 11, 8 a.m. CST
St. Louis Cardinals: Saturday, January 11, 10 a.m. ET
New York Mets: Saturday, January 18, at 10 a.m.
Pittsburgh Pirates: Saturday, January 25, at 10 a.m. (Presale: Wednesday, January 22 at 9 a.m. ET until Friday, January 24 at 11:59 p.m. ET.)
Baltimore Orioles: Saturday, January 25, 2014
Houston Astros: January (date unspecified)
Tampa Bay Rays: January (date unspecified)
Washington Nationals: Saturday, Feb. 1, 9 a.m. ET

Here is a 2014 master schedule for the Grapefruit League, also provided by SpringTrainingOnline.com.

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Stage Slaps

rob-neyer

The 2005 South By South West Music Festival

Recently I read a NotGraphs post by the wonderful Carson Cistulli about the wonderful Rob Neyer.  Afterward, I remembered, perhaps correctly, but perhaps not, that Mr. Neyer once wrote that he attended consecutive Sonic Youth concerts.  I also remembered that Mr. Neyer lives in Portland, Oregon, the titular land of Carrie Brownstein’s Portlandia – the very same Carrie Brownstein of the band Sleater-Kinney.  In an attempt to amuse myself and others, I left the following comment:

Many years ago, I once saw an inebriated Rob Neyer run on stage at a Sleater-Kinney concert. He performed a thirty-second air-guitar solo, then nervously handed Carrie Brownstein a note from his pocket. She read it and slapped him, then kissed him passionately. The band later thanked him in the liner notes of their second album.

Enamored with the comment’s structure and potential for variations on the theme, I created a few more, each of which contains lies of the bold-faced variety and some bit of true detail relevant to the baseball personality discussed in that particular post.  Each comment begins with a dramatic taking-of-the-stage maneuver, followed by some manner of outrageous behavior, and culminates with an indignant slapping of the protagonist.  The particular comment below regards a Floridian, and therefore in the eyes of the BBB editorial staff, is the thing on which this entire collection hangs its hat.

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Many years ago, I witnessed a drunken Tom Emanski clamber atop the first base dugout at his Baseball World training grounds in Fern Park, Florida. To the surprise of none of the 11-and-under class, Mr. Emanski let loose a profane, yet meandering, tirade at the children’s lack of hustle during PFP drills. Eventually becoming sleepy and forgetful as to the reason he began speaking, Mr. Emanski lay down and began napping. The children, seeking retaliation, climbed onto the dugout and slapped their coach repeatedly with the rosin bag and his demanding clipboard.

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1987_topps_ZaneSmith-701371 Many years ago, at the Omni Coliseum in Atlanta, I witnessed a drunken Zane Smith stumble on stage at a Bob Seger concert. During a particularly heartfelt rendition of “We’ve Got Tonight”, Mr. Smith held aloft his Zippo lighter and somehow managed to ignite his mullet and eyebrows. A cadre of roadies slapped Mr. Smith repeatedly with stage rugs until he was able to walk off of his own accord, leaving nothing behind but regret and the charred remains of a Ronnie James Dio concert tee.

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stevestone

Many years ago, I saw a drunken Steve Stone grab the mic from a piano songstress at the Ambassador East Hotel lounge in Chicago. Mr. Stone then lowered his trousers and said, “I’ve got some ivories you can tickle.” An enraged Harray Caray bounded on stage and slapped Mr. Stone about the head and neck. The songstress and Mr. Caray shared twenty-five beautiful years together before she succumbed to tertiary syphilis in 1987.

harry-caray-time-com

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photo

Many years ago, I saw a shirtless and inebriated Dayn Perry jump on stage at a White Lion concert. He performed a thirty-second air-guitar solo, then vomited on a Marshall amplifier. The lead singer slapped him, then kissed him passionately. The band later thanked him in their Grammy Award acceptance speech.

White+Lion+whitelyn

Ozzie Guillen Will Show Us the Way

So much of human interaction seems more difficult than it need be.  Too often those of us desiring simply to be and to do are thwarted and ensnared and forced to suffer by those compelled to connive and to machinate.  Jealousies are conceived, petty squabbles are played out, and for what?  In the end, we’re all just headed for a box in the ground. 

So, while we are here, alive and forced to endure one another, why don’t we all just spread moments of pure joy?  On Thursday, the Miami Marlins and the Atlanta Braves played a baseball game at Champion Stadium in Lake Buena Vista, Florida.  At the end of a game in which neither side won nor lost, but both were better for the experience, Ozzie Guillen showed us the way: 

Featured image credit:  Elitedaily.com

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