Ejection Video: Billy Gardner Jr., Montgomery Biscuits

Hello everyone!!!  Greetings from the American Workplace, where happiness is mandatory and important work gets done while everyone pretty much acts like an asshole.  Today we bring you the latest in Ejection Video, straight from the Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville.  The BBB staff of analysts, hangers on, groupies and what have you, requisitioned the company vehicle and, from the looks of its windshield upon arrival, used it like the Grim Reaper’s scythe, cutting a swath through Florida’s flying insect population en route to America’s largest city by landmass.

The city’s insurance comptroller may tell you the 2012 BBB Trip to Jacksonville is second only to the Great Fire of 1901 in terms of being a total loss, but we did manage to yield some value-added entertainment units for your stupefied consumption.  We will undoubtedly leverage said units for future profit and the glorious moral decay that accompanies stunning financial success.

Despite repeated requests from management, the official BBB videographer refuses to sit in the front row for fear of being hit by a fast owie baseball.  His flinching cowardice resulted in the following hazy, unfocused video of manager Billy Gardner, Jr. being ejected from a game between the Jacksonville Suns and the Montgomery Biscuits.  Yes, that’s right.  The team’s name is the Biscuits.  And the BBB videographer is under a performance review at this point.

It should be noted that our headquarters is somewhat centrally located in Florida and this was our first exposure to Double A baseball, where the games are so important three umpires are required.  We were also quite impressed with the exterior façade and the existence of a true upper deck at The Baseball Grounds, unlike the upper deck at Clearwater’s Bright House Field, which doesn’t extend all the way around home plate.

Anyway, in the shuddersome words of the Hilton and Kardashian business handlers, “Let’s see the video, sweetheart.”

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Ejection Video: Lelo Prado, USF Bulls

When this BBB contributor sits down to ponder things worthy of his desire, a long-running series of excellent ejection videos is somewhere near the top of the list.  In this inaugural case study of baseballing banishment, we find what is generally frowned upon at the office and in the home is encouraged vigorously at the ballpark. 

If the authority figures in your baseballing life displease you, register your complaint by yelling at them and calling them names.  Your vociferant tirade will yield an infinitesimal chance of reversing the call, but that’s not what’s important here.  You are a leader of men.  As such, you are also an object of female desire.  What’s important to the young colts and lustful ladies out there is seeing you Do Something.  That’s very important in today’s culture.  You don’t want to be caught not doing something when Doing Something is required.  Gesticulate wildly.  Make liberal use of your outraged index finger and jab it repeatedly at the source of your frustration.  When you can pull off the finger jab successfully, consider narrowly missing the recipient’s face next time.  It’s very dramatic that way.  You know you’re doing it right when onlookers, wearing similarly colored attire as you, join in the fracas by yelling “bullshit” repeatedly.  At this point, you now have the respect and admiration of your rabble-rousing comrades.

Ejectee:  Lelo Prado, Head Coach, USF Bulls

Ejection date:  March 20, 2012

Location:  USF Baseball Stadium

Funny little thing that happened:  Umpire’s right leg during ejection, followed by the arms-crossed, I’m-ignoring-you posture.

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